


What About Us?

by iwasnthere



Category: Liam Payne (Musician), One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Cruise Ship, Emails, Future, I just can't write the real ones lol, M/M, Misunderstandings, Nurse Liam, Reunions, Slow Burn, break ups, future fluff, lirry friendship, seven seas voyager, they've had other relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-02-17 02:22:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13067142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasnthere/pseuds/iwasnthere
Summary: Liam shakes his head. “I was getting on fine without you!”“And you think I was wallowing in misery without you? I didn’t even think about you anymore!” Zayn steps into Liam’s space. “Two years without you, I turned out fine.”“Yeah?” Liam challenges. “Then why are you here?”Zayn stares at him. “I’m asking myself the same thing. I’m sure you are too.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I wrote this while I had this burst of inspiration and I don't even know why I suddenly love writing break up fics. This is really new to me and I am so excited about the plot. This was inspired by a viral tweet by someone receiving an email from an ex, written when they were still together. The rest is made up and purely fictional.
> 
> Title is from P!nk's "what about us" bc I love that song and I am obsessed with Liam's cover of it. There was so much pain and emotion in his performance that I had to make it the title.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and tell me what you think! x
> 
> BTW, it's still short because I want to get the feel of the fit first. :) Any mistakes are mine and I do not own or know any of the characters unless stated otherwise.

Liam drags his feet across the floor of his apartment, groaning. He’s sick on his feet and it’s his first day off in weeks. His boss has been riding him hard and that’s no innuedo.

He places his bowl of (instant) mushroom soup on the coffee table and flings himself on the couch and turns the telly on. There’s some old spongebob episode and he decides to watch that when his phone lights up with an email notification. He bites his lip in frustration thinking it’s his boss again demanding him to work from home (see: finish files that literally don't need to be done by a nurse, or at least not Liam, for now).  
He’s taken aback when he sees the name of the sender from the most recent email. It’s been way too long since he’s seen it, read it, said it.  
He doesn’t know if it’s the fever or just him because he feels dizzy and his fingers are shaking as he taps to open the message.

From: [zjmalik@gmail.com](mailto:zjmalik@gmail.com)  
To: liam_payne@gmail.com  
composed: November 15, 2014  
queued for sending: November 15, 2017

_Hi baby! Surprise!_

_Today would mean that you and me are celebrating 5 years together! I can’t believe it. Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world. Thank you for loving me when even I think loving myself is the hardest thing to do. I’m sorry if we fight sometimes, I hope you don’t think I don’t love you during those moments because I do incredibly much. I’m writing this 2 years into our relationship because that is the amount of trust I have in our love. I am sure I’m going to love you for the longest time and I can’t imagine me loving anyone else. You have not completed my life, but you have made it better altogether. I would not be who I am today if not for your support and love. Li, thank you for being the man of my dreams. Thank you for showing me that I’m yours everyday too. This email does little to show you how much I love you, but it’s worth the try. I love you so much, and I truly, truly hope we’ve made it to today._  
_And if we have, I’ll see you later, my love. Happy 5th anniversary._

_— read this part only if (and only if) we broke up before today —_

_Hey._  
_I wonder what happened. Did we end badly? How though? Just thinking about the possibility of you reading this section hurts my heart. But since there is a (slim) chance of it, I’m writing it anyway._  
_I love you and you love me, why’d it end? There must be a valid explanation. There must be a reason. I wish it wasn’t bad. I wish we ended well. Although I wish more that we didn’t end at all, at least I wish we stayed friends. I don’t think that’s a good idea though, that will probably hurt too much. I hope I didn’t end things, is that bad? Maybe, but I hope with all my heart that I did not hurt you._  
_Anyway, if we ended, whether badly or not, can you please contact me today? Even if it’s just “got your email”. Just so I can remember it too. I hope you don’t hate me. I hope I don’t hate you._  
_But please, Li. Just let me know you got this email._  
_I’m hoping with every beat of my heart that you don’t have to read this part. I hope you’ll stop at see you later._  
_All these said, no matter what happened; I know I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you._

 _Sincerely,_  
_Your Zayn_

Liam takes a deep breath. Not realizing the harshness of his grip on the phone. Not noticing the tears that have accumulated in his eyes. Not knowing what to do with what he just read.

It’s been two years. Figures. He doesn’t know if it’s more heartbreaking or laughable that Zayn wrote this email just a year before they broke up. I guess the trust in their love wasn’t enough after all.

Liam debates with himself on what he’s going to do. Zayn said in the email to contact him, but who’s to say he feels the same from what he did two years ago? If Liam learned anything from life, it’s that nothing ever stays the same, especially feelings.

And yet, something tugs in his heart. Something screaming at him to contact the other boy.

One part screams it’ll only open healed wounds, another says they never healed in the first place.

One part screams it’s for closure, another says maybe it’ll be an open door.

Liam shakes his head. He can’t do this sick. His mind’s too groggy. He’ll sleep on it.

—

Liam left his phone on the coffee table for obvious reasons. And yet, hours later in his bedroom he could not find it in himself to sleep despite the heaviness in his head and the clogging in his nose.

He groans and gets up hastily rushing to the living room and grabbing his phone and then running back to his bed.

He types out a reply to the email.

_got ur email. u dont have to reply. twas years ago. but thanks, it was kind of u._

Liam stares at what he’s typed. Not bothering to correct whatever grammatical or spelling error he’s made. He’s too tired for this. He just wants sleep. So, he sends the email.

“There.” Liam says with finality. He flings his phone away from him and hopes to find himself in a deep slumber.

He does.

—

Liam wakes up to someone moving around his apartment. He’s a bit disoriented at first and is suddenly terrified that he’s getting robbed. He grabs the closest thing to a weapon he finds which was a flashlight. Wow. Points for Liam.  
He furrows his brows listening to the footsteps which are nearing his bedroom now. He gets up and pulls back the flashlight, ready to slam it at whoever is robbing him.  
A figure enters his room and Liam shouts aiming the flashlight at the person’s head.  
_"AH!"_ Liam screams.

 

 

_"AH!"_

Liam pulls back as Harry puts his hand up in defense.  
“Harry? What the hell mate?”  
Harry scoffs at him and pouts. “I just wanted to check up on you since you said you were feeling poorly yesterday.”  
“I’m okay.” Liam mumbles.

Harry rolls his eyes and puts a hand against Liam’s forehead. “You’re still a bit hot.”

Liam smirks. “Just a bit?”

“Stop it, you got me worried.”

“I’m fine.”

Harry scoffs. "It's always  _I'm fine_  with you." He punches Liam's arm. "Ever since you broke up with -"

"Not now, Harry." Liam cuts him off, walking away from his best friend to head back to his bedroom.

"I'm just saying, Li!" Harry follows him. "You've never let anyone take care of you since, you know."

Liam sighs and flops on the bed to look up at Harry. "I don't  _need_  to be taken care of, Styles." He says firmly. "I can take care of myself." He turns on his side, looking away from Harry.

Harry sighs and Liam feels the bed shift before a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. "I love you, Li. You're my best friend."

"I know. You're my best friend too." Liam says, putting his hands on top of Harry's. "I'm probably contagious. Get off me."

"Sorry if I brought it up." Harry sighs before pulling away and sitting up.

"What did you bring up?" Liam smiles, turning to face Harry again.

Harry ruffles Liam's hair. "I'll make dinner."

Liam smiles as Harry leaves his bedroom to head to the kitchen. He looks back at his phone on the bed and wills himself to not hope for an email notification.

He thinks he's successful.

For now.

\--

He enters the dining room still a bit weighty on his feet because of the medication he's taking and his aching head but it's manageable. Harry's cooking has always been great and it smells lovely enough that Liam's stomach starts growling. 

"Bon appetite!" Harry exclaims, placing two large plates at the center of the table. "Pan seared salmon with a creamy cucumber-fennel salad."

"wow, chef Gordon, why so fancy?" Liam teases, voice high pitched.

Harry glares at Liam. "This isn't fancy, Liam. It's simple, I'm sorry that you're simple dinner is usually consisted of instant noodles and microwaveable meals." 

Liam laughs, taking no offence. "Just kidding, Haz. It smells lovely."

"Well then? Take a seat. I've already set the table," Harry grins. "I've prepared your paracetamol too. And I brought some orange juice to add to your intake of fluids."

"Are you my Best Friend or my mother?" Liam raises an eyebrow at him.

Harry scoffs, pushing Liam to his seat while taking his across him. "I need to be both with you."

"You don't  _need_  to be. I'm fine,  _Harry_."

Harry seats across Liam and frowns. "Okay, what's gotten your panties in a twist today? You've been sick before, but you're _never_ as pissy."

Liam closes his eyes in irritation. Sometimes Harry doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. "Nothing."

"You know I don't believe you."

"Then don't." Liam snaps as he places a piece of salmon on his plate and dives in for the salad. Harry may be annoying, but he's a very good chef. 

The pair eat in silence for a little bit before guilt claws at Liam's chest, forcing him to look up at his best friend. Harry is not looking at him when he does, he's silently eating his salmon and moving around the salad on his plate.

"I received an email from Zayn." Liam says, voice soft.

Harry looks up at him with a raised eyebrow. But he doesn't say anything, Liam's grateful.

Liam looks down and moves a piece of salmon around his plate before explaining further. "It was just something he wrote years ago, when we were still together." He smiles at his food a bit, "basically an email congratulating us both on reaching five years, well, if we did."

"Oh." Harry squeaks out. "It would have been your anniversary."

Liam nods, looking up at Harry again. "He said that when I received it, whether we were still together or not, I had to let him know, email him about it or something."

"Tell me you didn't." Harry whines. "Come on, Li."

Liam bites his lip, not answering Harry.

Harry groans. "Dua Lipa would be so disappointed."

"Hey, all she warns you about is picking up the phone." Liam jokes.

"Did he reply?"

Liam shakes his head. "No, I don't expect him to either. I just - I felt like I had to let him know I got it. Something in me made me feel like I had to."

Harry stares at Liam for a bit then smiles. "Well, it's not like one email will win back two years of being broken up, right?"

"You act as if it was some big dramatic thing. We fell out of love, it wasn't event that bad." Liam smirks at Harry.

"Sure you did." Harry smiles. "Well, now that that's out in the open, can you please stop being an asshole? Sick Liam plus asshole Liam makes Harry sad."

"I'll stop if you stop speaking in third person, that's annoying."

"Liam is still mean. Harry will continue to speak in third person." Harry pouts.

"Liam will punch Harry if he doesn't stop."

"Harry cooked Liam a delicious dinner while he is sick. Harry came to Liam's rescue. Harry deserves more."

Liam glares at Harry. "Stop."

"Harry loves Liam." Harry grins. "And Harry knows Liam loves him back."

"Oh my god, shut the fuck up."

The pair laugh and continue to eat their dinner without bringing up the initial conversation for the rest of the night.

Liam feels a little bit better as the night passes and he and Harry have chosen to watch the whole Shrek franchise in his living room. They're both cuddled up on the couch as Donkey keeps asking Fiona and Shrek if they were in Far Far Away yet.

"Donkey is annoying, but he's my favourite character." Liam says to Harry.

Harry frowns. "I'm less annoying than Donkey but you barely tolerate me."

"It's the animal touch." Liam shrugs.

"I can be an animal!" Harry protests. "Well, I'm an animal in bed."

Liam groans. "I didn't need to know that."

"Please, Liam. If we didn't grow up together, you'd be fighting to have me."

"Gross." Liam makes a face.

Harry pinches Liam's cheek. "Shut up and watch the movie, Payne."

Liam looks up at his best friend and smiles. "You know I love you, right Haz?"

"Oh, so now you're sappy?" Harry rolls his eyes fondly.

Liam grins. "I -"

Ping!

Liam's phone lights up in a notification from the coffee table where both Harry and Liam's feet are propped, they didn't really think about it much but Liam still grumbled a bit, moving from his comfortable position to reach for his phone.

What he saw next almost made him drop it altogether.

Harry gives him a curious look. Liam shows him his phone.

_NEW MAIL_

_Zayn Malik_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO! 
> 
> I'm back from the Holidays!! I hope you had a lovely time whether you celebrate or not. Consider this chapter as a belated gift since I didn't get to greet you guys :) 
> 
> This chapter is still moving a bit slower, still a bit short, I'm still establishing the characters. I want to really take my time with this fic but I can't promise update dates :( But I'll see this one until the end. 
> 
> ANY MISTAKES ARE MINE, THIS WORK IS PURELY FICTION AND DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE CHARACTERS IN REAL LIFE. 
> 
> P.S. Thank you so much for the kind reception to this fic, you are all so lovely. :) OH, and I have a Tumblr now, so if you wanna chat or give me some ideas, let me know [here](https://www.iwasnthere-writes.tumblr.com). Don't be shy! Say hi! :)

Liam stays wide eyed and frozen as he looks at Harry's reaction.

Harry taps his phone to open the mail.

"Haz!" Liam pulls back. "I'm still processing this."

"How old are we? 18?" Harry rolls his eyes. "Just see what he says, it's not like it's a life or death thing, it's just -"

Liam sighs and opens the email. 

 _From:[zjmalik@gmail.com](mailto:zjmalik@gmail.com)_  
_To: liam_payne@gmail.com_

_hi, that's literally so funny, mate. I totally forgot about that email. A bit awkward right now, innit? lol :)_

_thanks for letting me know. knew you'd still be one of the likes to fulfill requests, even the silliest ones. so thanks._

_P.S. happy anniversary to what could have been us, I guess. hope that isn't weird or whatever. typing out this email is making me feel like I shouldn't but something deeper is saying I should so I have to add a little humour for it not to be too formal and all that shit x)_

_P.P.S. are you attending the student council reunion? it's cool if you don't reply to this, just asking._

_hope you're good, Li._

"What reunion?" Liam looks at Harry who has a guilty look on his face. "What did you do?"

Harry bites his lip and looks away from Liam. "Isn't it cute that he still greeted you a happy anniversary?"

Liam squints his eyes at Harry. " _Harry Edward Styles_ ," he says slowly, "what reunion is he talking about?"

"Ugh!" Harry says exasperatedly, getting up from the couch to stand above Liam. "Hear me out, okay? We were invited to this week long reunion, okay? And I knew you would say no because, well, you're Liam and I really, really,  _really_ wanted to go but not without you because I worry about you a lot so I messaged the reunion head to not let you know about it because we were already going anyway and I know you're gonna hate me, even more so now that maybe Zayn might go but Liam you have to hear me out, you can't avoid every single thing about our uni days just because you and Zayn broke up, you have to -"

Liam cuts him off. "Where is this reunion?"

Harry mumbles something looking down.

"Harry." Liam purses his lips.

"It's in a cruise ship around Europe?"

"What?"

"Like, Rome to Venice?" Harry finally looks up at Liam, smiling sheepishly.

"What the fu-"

"It's on a cruise ship! And it'll only be for ten nights!" Harry whines. "Please Liam. It's so luxurious, Have you heard of the seven seas voyager? Of course you don't. But babe! It's amazing, we need to go. Like, _need_ to, Liam. How many reunions have done this? I don't know because this is the first I've heard! This is a once in a lifetime thing, we -"

Liam groans. "Who's paying for this? I barely afford things I want, Harry. Why would I want to waste money on things I don't want?"

"Please Liam. Please?" Harry pouts. "All we need to do is be there anyway. One of our batch mates married like a bajillionare and she's paying for all of us. Or maybe she has connections, I don't know."

"All of us? Who did she marry?"

Harry whines. "That's not the point. Okay, maybe not all of us, but most of us. And we were on the list because we were the best student councillors! Liam, this is a sign from above that we  _have_ to go."

"Why don't you go alone?" Liam asks. "You don't need me to make friends."

"I'm not worried for me! I'm worried for you!" Harry pleads. "Say you'll go."

Liam scoffs. "After the stunt you pulled by hiding it from me? That wasn't cool, Haz."

"I'm sorry, okay? I just knew you'd say no. _I knew it_." Harry says dejectedly. "And I thought, maybe if I didn't give you a choice, you'd have to go. And now you still aren't." He looks down.

"You are not guilt tripping me into this, Styles. I'm not going."

Harry sighs. "I know. I just thought maybe you'd say yes. It was worth the shot." He looks at Liam. "Sorry I kept it from you."

Liam gives Harry a small smile. "I understand why you did it." He pulls on Harry's hand to let him back on the couch. "You can go, have fun. You might even rekindle some uni love on that ship."

"It won't be fun without you." Harry looks away with a pout. "Are you never changing your mind?"

"No can do, Haz." Liam says confidently. Might as well let Harry know he's firm about this than give him false hope. "When is this happening anyway?"

"January. The 9th." Harry takes a deep breath. "Fine, I won't force you - but you have to answer, why?"

Liam shrugs. "I don't feel like it's necessary, you know? The hospital actually needs their nurses, sweet, unlike you Mr. Manager of your own restaurant."

"It's my mum's, still not mine." Harry sticks his tongue out. "You can always take some time off."

"Like I said, it's not necessary. If I take that much time off now, what if I need time off during emergencies? I'll never be able to use those days, it's a waste of time and money." Liam explains.

Harry bites his lip. "It's not because of Zayn?"

"Why do you always think everything is about him? Are you sure it was me who was in a relationship with him or you?" Liam laughs humourlessly. "I get that I was hurt when we broke up, but I'm not gonna crumble over him now, Haz. I'm over it."

"Hurt? That's the understatement of the century." Harry mumbles. But he gives Liam a long, thoughtful look. "Okay. Fine, I won't go either." 

Liam shakes his head. "Nope, you're going. You were excited, you were happy, you already said yes. You're not dropping what you want to do for me, H."

"You know what? Let's not talk about it first then." Harry says, clearly not dropping the subject, Liam's sure he's gonna bring it up again to see if Liam will change his mind. "What we need to talk about is whether or not you'll reply to your ex. Come on, the suspense is killing me."

Liam grabs the pillow beside him and slams it on Harry's face, laughing at his squawk of surprise. He shakes his head and looks at his phone. He erases the email.

\--

Liam loves his job. Even if he has to work on Christmas Eve, he loves it. He's been a frequent visitor to the hospital when he was a kid because of his kidney but the people there have never made him feel like it was a bad place. And ever since, he swore he'd make other kids feel the same.

Being a nurse at a children's hospital is both fulfilling and heartbreaking. Liam has seen and met wonderful children here, only for them to be defeated by some disease or sickness that they didn't ever deserve. Some win over them and that makes Liam happy, to see children have their "last visits" because they're healed. His heart warms at that. He wants them to know that it's not their fault their sick, and that they're stronger than their age says so. 

He's doing his first batch of rounds across the floor he's assigned to and enters his last patient's room. Favourite patient.

"Hey buddy." Liam says as he enters, seeing the little boy on the bed watching the telly with his ironman action figure clutched to his chest.

The little boy lights up seeing Liam. "Lee!" 

"How are you today, Mikey?" Liam smiles as he lifts his clipboard and pen to show the boy. "Just gonna ask a few questions again. Okay?"

"I'm great!" Mike gives him a thumbs up and turns his attention to the telly again.

Liam looks at the boy fondly and turns to his mother sitting on the sofa beside the bed. "Since when has he been back?"

Mike's mum, Sheila, gives him a tired smile. "Saturday. He's feeling a lot better today, hopefully this will be the last hospital visit for this year."

"Hopefully it'll be the last hospital visit where he gets admitted." Liam counters. "What's he in for now?"

"Pneumonia." She sighs. "We all thought it was just the flu, until he started getting chills and chest pain."

Liam sighs, Mikey's too little to deal with these. He's been a constant visitor since Liam has started working in the hospital. The poor boy was born with Ventricular Septal Defect, which causes him to be more susceptible to sicknesses and diseases. His family is saving up for him to have an open heart surgery, and even that is a big risk.

After asking the normal medication questions, he puts down his clipboard and lowers his voice. "How's that plan for surgery?" Liam asks quietly.

Sheila closes her eyes as she breathes out. "The family is still saving up. And yet were all scared that something might go wrong. He's only three, Liam." Her lip trembles as she speaks, Liam tries hard to keep his emotions in tact. 

"He's a fighter." Liam says firmly. "He's stronger than many older people."

"That is true. Stronger than me, at least." Sheila says with a wet laugh. "Thank you for being so kind, Liam."

"Anytime, Sheila." Liam smiles and turns to Mike. "Hey, kiddo. Visit me at the nurses station before leaving later, yeah? Got something for you for Christmas."

Mikey lights up and grins. "Will do, Lee! Love you!" He sits up properly on the bed and points to his cheek, asking Liam for a kiss.

Liam chuckles and complies, ruffling the boy's hair. "Love you too." He says his goodbyes and walks out of the room.

The day goes by like any normal one. He's grateful that there aren't much patients during the holidays because he knows how stressful hospitals can be for families, no matter how hard he tries to make it feel better. He is just one person after all.

"Lee!"

Liam immediately smiles, "Mikey, you made it! I thought you forgot about me." He playfully pouts.

"Of course not, Liam." Mike rolls his eyes, hands on his hip as he looks up at Liam. "Mommy just had to speak to Dr. Burger."

Liam chuckles, "Dr. Gerber, darling."

"Hmmm. Merry Christmas, Lee!" Mike opens his arms and Liam crouches down to hug him. "I love you."

"I love you, bub." Liam smiles, "here." He picks a wrapped up present from the table and hands it over. "Have a good one, alright?"

Mike smiles and looks back to his mom behind them, he holds out his hand and his mom gives him a present. "I have one for you, too." The little boy smiles shyly.

"Why, _thank you_ ," Liam grins. "I already know I'm gonna love it."

The boys say their goodbyes and Liam tells Mike to be a good boy for his mom. Sheila thanks Liam for being so lovely to her son and wishes him happy holidays. Liam smiles and clocks out before heading home. 

Christmas becomes less and less enjoyable as you get older. Liam can't lie about that anymore. This year especially since his family decided to go to the US for the holidays, and Liam couldn't go because, well, because of his job. Harry says it's still him being stubborn and unmotivated in life. Liam calls bullshit. Harry just wants everything in real life to be like a rom com, the protagonist, which he points out to be Liam, being a hopeless, unhappy bloke, until someone else comes along to make them happy.

Liam doesn't need anyone to be happy.

He doesn't need anyone.

He walks into his apartment and nearly has a heart attack when he sees a figure standing in the middle of his living room. He presses his lips together to hold back any noise and try to tackle this person. He's got his back turned to Liam and his hands on his hips. Liam looks around for any weapon he could use and decides for an umbrella by the side table. He slowly approaches the man and gets a closer look at his intruder, he's got brunette hair and a small body. He's wearing a dark blue jumper and black jeans, he seems familiar to Liam, but no one has his keys besides Harry, and this boy definitely isn't Harry.

Liam lifts the umbrella and starts swinging it to the intruder's directions when -

"What the hell are you doing, Liam?" 

Liam freezes and turns to Harry's voice behind him, the intruder turning to both of them. Liam drops the umbrella.

" _Louis?_ " Liam exclaims. " _Louis William Tomlinson?_ "

Louis smirks nonchalantly, but his eyes are bright. "Liam James Payne. I have missed you."

Liam snaps out of whatever trance he's in and immediately engulfs the smaller boy in his arms, hugging him tightly as Harry laughs looking at them. He breathes in the scent of his old friend just for a few more moments and pulls away. 

"What are you doing here?" Liam asks and turns to Harry, "and what is with you and breaking in my home?"

Harry scoffs. "I wouldn't call it _breaking_ in."

Louis chuckles. "I came to visit, it's been a while since I've seen both of you."

Something snaps inside Liam and he remembers, "Happy Birthday! Oh my god."

"So you do remember." Louis smiles. "Thank you."

Liam gives him bemused look. "What's with all the formality? No banters? No rash jokes? Innuendos? Are you really Louis?"

Louis rolls his eyes. 

"There we go, there's the Tommo I love and loathe at teh same time." Liam claps his hands, but Louis just gives him a small smiles and Harry is staring at the two with a sheepish one.

Liam frowns at them but gets it after a moment. 

"Nope." Liam shakes his head. "I can't believe you would bring Tommo into this, that's weak, Styles."

Louis chuckles, "ever so dramatic. Come on, we have take out. Let's all catch up through a simple birthday dinner, yeah?"

Liam groans. "I swear, I'm going to kill you, Harry."

"Geez Liam, for a nurse, you sure say a lot of opposite shit to your best friend." Harry jokes.

Liam groans. Happy fucking holidays.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there will be a character slightly involved with Zayn, but it's nothing major. I promise.  
> I'm lame at names so I'm just using the usual names involved with he boys and some original characters.  
> Idk if you've all noticed but I really have an easier time writing in Zayn's POV, irdk why lol 
> 
> Hope this is okay. Any mistakes are mine.  
> Longer chapters will be made when they actually get on the "ship".
> 
> Thank you for all your support and love <3 BTW you can talk to me [here](https://www.iwasnthere-writes.tumblr.com), I'm new on tumblr so come say hi! x

It was a normal day for Zayn. Literally. He woke up, bathed, ate, taught some teenagers English, went back home, ate dinner and slept.

Except, it really wasn't that normal, since it's not everyday you get an email from an ex, letting you know that you wrote him an email three years ago to celebrate what could've been your fifth anniversary. Right? Zayn's pretty sure that's not in anybody's definition of normal.

He stares at his laptop. Vision going a bit blurry as he's been looking at the sender's name for a while now. It  _has_ been a while. Longer than he imagined. It's crazy how long it's been since he's seen this name, written this name, said this name. 

From: liam_payne@gmail.com  
To: [zjmalik@gmail.com](mailto:zjmalik@gmail.com)

_got ur email. u dont have to reply. twas years ago. but thanks, it was kind of u._

Zayn winces. Can an email be colder? He actually feels Liam's frown and his furrowed brows as he reads the email again.

 _It's been way too long._ Zayn thinks. But he's not going to be the petty one here. Liam actually replied and did what he asked, and that gesture is just so _Liam_ that Zayn can't help but smile a bit. No matter how uncomfortable or awkward it is for him, if you ask Liam, he will do anything he can to make you happy. As long as it's reasonable though. And legal. Definitely legal.

Now, the ball's in Zayn's court. Should he reply? Make things even more weird? What should he say, then? Thanks? Happy Anniversary? Lol it's been a while?

Where do they stand at this point?

Zayn's pretty sure he doesn't hate Liam. He never did. But does Liam feel the same? Or does he just want to go on without the guilt of not replying? Is he just being nice? Does he want Zayn back? Does Zayn want Liam back? 

He shakes his head. A simple email has triggered so many unnecessary questions, "for fuck's sake, calm the fuck down, Malik." Zayn tells himself. His fingers shake as he types out a reply. Cringing at the poor attempt at being funny and calm. 

He was supposed to end at thanks. To end the conversation. Put a period on it, click send and move on with his life, just as Liam probably did after this last email. But something in Zayn spurs another sentence. Then another sentence after that.

_P.S. happy anniversary to what could have been us, I guess. hope that isn't weird or whatever. typing out this email is making me feel like I shouldn't but something deeper is saying I should so I have to add a little humour for it not to be too formal and all that shit x)_

Zayn groans. He doesn't think emailing his ex was ever part of his plans today. He continues to type out: 

_P.P.S. are you attending the student council reunion? it's cool if you don't reply to this, just asking._

_hope you're good, Li._

He stares at what he's typed one more time before hitting send. 

That was, okay? Right? Of course. There was nothing wrong with that. It was simply thanking a person from his past who cared enough to grant one of Zayn's last requests from him. That was fine. It was _normal_. It's chill, yeah? It's good.

"Why are you spacing out?"

Zayn jumps at the sound of Niall from behind him. He coughs into his fist, trying to act calm in front of his best friend. "Got an email today."

Niall lights up, "was it an update on our cruise?" He grins widely and Zayn shakes his head.

"No." Zayn smiles at Niall's _aw man!_ "It was an email from Liam." He says casually, trying to keep the tension out of his voice.

This fact makes Niall's brows shoot up. "Liam? as in _Liam Payne? Payno?_ What for?"

Zayn shrugs, looking down at his hands to pick at his nails. "He replied to an old email I sent for him about three years ago."

"Three years ago?" Niall clarifies before pushing his way to see Zayn's laptop. He skimmed through the email and scrolled to see Zayn's initial one. "Okay, wow. Cheesy." 

Zayn flushes. "Shut up. Was young and dumb."

"And in love." Niall cackles, pulling away from the laptop. "Boy, you were absolutely  _gone_ for Payno."

"Are we done making fun of me?" Zayn rolls his eyes.

Niall shakes his head, grinning. "This one is for the books, mate." He chuckles. "It's not something to be ashamed about though. It was a beautiful love."

Zayn bites his lip, glancing at his laptop. "It was."

"Still wonder why it had to end." Niall teases.

"Okay, memory lane is now closed." Zayn mumbles.

It was Niall's turn to roll his eyes. "Still not talking about it, then?" When Zayn doesn't answer, he sighs. "Okay, but whether or not he's going to the cruise, we _are_ going."

Zayn's eyes widen. "Do you think he plans on going?"

Niall shrugs. "Who knows? Harry's going, I think."

Shit. "Niall -"

"Nope. You are not backing down because Liam might be going. This is a school councillors reunion, not some love rekindling, don't be selfish." Niall says firmly.

"I do _not_ expect some love rekindling." Zayn protests. "It'll just be weird, that's all."

Niall raises his eyebrows. "It doesn't have to be if you've both moved on." He places a hand on Zayn's shoulder. "Besides. aren't you dating Stella now?"

Zayn groans. "We have moved on. _I have_ , at least." He pauses. "And how many times do I have to tell you that we aren't dating?"

"The girl has been pining after you for a year now. End her misery. You guys have fucked." Niall points out.

"We were drunk and that was only once." Zayn corrects. "We're taking things slow."

Niall scoffs. "More like, _you're_ not actually interested."

"She's a great girl." Zayn says, because it was true but - well, see, that's the problem. There's a but, and it would've made more sense if he could fill in a sentence after the word, but to no avail, he hasn't. "I just - I want to be sure about my feelings before jumping into a relationship."

"Whatever you say, Malik." Niall concedes. "You used to dive in on love head first. You love with your all, Zayn. You were never this carefully skeptical with Li-"

"Young and dumb." Zayn cuts him off.

Niall gives him a small smile. " _And happy._ "

Zayn swallows audibly but quickly shakes it off. "Fuck off with that corny shit, Ni. We're not eighteen anymore."

"Screw you." Niall laughs. "Everyone loves a bit of love in life."

"Clearly, I'm not everyone."

Niall hums. "Whatever. We are going to that cruise. I don't care whatever issues you have with whether or not Liam's going."

"I don't have any issues!" Zayn counters. "It'd just be a bit weird, but it's _fine_."

Niall smirks. "Then start packing, baby! Seven seas voyager, we're coming! _OI OI_ " 

Zayn quirks up. "Is Tomlinson going?"

"Think so." Niall laughs. "It's gonna be a wild one."

Zayn snorts.

"You need to live a little, Zayn."

\--

The rest of the week comes by as normal as possible, but Zayn finds himself refreshing his email inbox a lot more than usual. Only when he realises what he's doing does he stop and keep his phone away from his as far as possible.

He's at his own office today grading some papers when a knock on his door makes him look up.

"Come in." He calls.

A head of blonde hair and blue eyes peeks her head in the office. "Hey, busy?" She says with a smile.

Zayn gives her a small smiles and shakes his head. "Not really. Come in."

Stella. His co-teacher at the high school he's teaching in has been one of his first friends in the job. She was sweet and approachable, she always clung to Zayn the first few days since they were both new, and he kinda just, stayed friendly as well.

She was obviously in to him. Well, at least, that's what Niall would say. And Zayn isn't blind as well, he notices the looks, the hints, the little touches, the smiles. Zayn wants to like her that way. Really. It would be so much easier to at least try to be in a relationship with someone who is clearly interested.

But something in Zayn finds it wrong somehow. It's not right. He isn't sure about his feelings for her yet, and he doesn't want to lead her on. That's all. He just wants to be sure this time.

Apart from that drunken night during the first winter break of the school year, he hasn't ever made her think he was interested. He made it clear to her as well. Apologized profusely that he took advantage of their drunken state to which she immediately shot down saying they were both "too wasted to even think". Until now, Zayn feels guilty, but she made it clear that it wasn't going to change things between them. 

"Any reason for your visit?" Zayn asks politely as Stella approaches his desk and takes a seat in front of him.

"Heard about your week long leave of absence." Stella smiles. "Wanted to ask about it since you never take days off, workaholic." She teases.

Zayn laughs. "Still thinking about it really. Not sure if I'm pushing through with it."

"What is it anyway? Is your sorry ass travelling somewhere or?"

"Oh, you didn't know? You're friend's filthy rich now. I'm heading for a cruise across Europe on the seven seas voyager." Zayn says dramatically.

Stella flinches at the word friend but she doesn't her best to cover it up with a look of shock. "Shut the fuck up."

Zayn clamps his mouth shut and raises his eyebrows at her.

"No way!" Stella laughs. "How'd your broke butt manage that?"

Zayn gives her an offended look. "I'll have you know I may have hidden my millions to grace your peasant life with my presence."

Stella rolls her eyes as her cheeks redden a bit. "Stop it, spill the beans."

"You spend too much time with your students, Stells, I swear." Zayn chuckles. "It's some school councillor reunion. I'm not actually paying for anything though."

"Aw, damn it. I was ready to milk money off of you." The girl giggles. "Seven seas voyager, aye? Nice."

"Eh, could do something a little less flashy but the heads want it so, might as well." 

Stella smiles a bit and clears her throat. "Niall's going with you then?"

"Niall's forcing me to go with him actually." Zayn corrects.

"Will he be rekindling the love affairs he keeps chatting about on the boat?" Stella laughs.

Zayn gives Stella a look and breathes out a forced laugh. "Hope so. Then he'll finally stop prying into my love life."

"Your non existent love life." Stella says, Zayn must imagine the hope in her voice. He's not that full of himself.

"Very." Zayn attests.

\--

The conversation with Stella only gets Zayn in an even more confused state. He gets on with her well. She laughs and plays along with Zayn's humour and jokes, they both make fun of Niall. In every normal person's eyes, Stella would be great for Zayn. Why is it never that easy for him, though? Why can't he ever just choose who he can and cannot have feelings for. 

He's walking towards his flat on the way home when Niall runs up to him. "Hello there, best friend."

Zayn makes a face. "Please don't call me that."

"But you _are_ my best friend!" Niall whines. "And I'm just happy to be home on time again today." He walks beside Zayn towards their building and into the elevator.

"Why are you home on time today?" Zayn asks before pressing the button for the 7th floor.

"I'm finally done giving my over time for our trip!" Niall says excitedly. "I can't believe I can say I'm grateful for an eight hour shift."

Zayn grins as the elevator pings to their floor and the pair walk to their shared flat. "You're really excited about this trip, huh."

"I am! Which is why you can't ruin this for me." Niall says firmly, walking in to the living room. "It's gonna be fun, Z. Promise."

"I know, I'll have you there." Zayn says. "I should see if Tomlinson's going, ask him who else is."

"He is, I texted him today, says Styles is going too." Niall says, clearly avoiding whoever should be mentioned next, which is obviously, Harry's best friend. Zayn doesn't want to know, anyway. He didn't get a reply from the last email he sent. He clearly doesn't want to answer Zayn. Whatever. It doesn't bother him.

Zayn nods, sitting beside Niall on the couch. "Who else?"

"Ben's going, Christian too." Niall says, "Jade and Perrie are going to be of attendance as well."

"Christian?" Zayn asks, brows furrowing at the old name.

Niall chuckles. "Yeah, the dude that had a crush on Payno. You hated him, remember?" 

Zayn flushes. "I didn't hate him. I just didn't like the way he looked at who I was dating, _before_."

"Well, it's all good now then." Niall gives him a knowing look. "I'll be honest, I don't know if Liam's going."

"I don't care." Zayn says confidently.

Niall laughs. "Then it's no issue." 

"It's not." 

"Okay."

"Okay!"

"Fine."

"Fine!" Zayn says, "I'm not going to pop a vein if he goes, Niall. We're all adults here, we can all deal with past relationships just fine."

Niall cackles. "A mention of Christian and you're worked up like this." He pinches Zayn's cheek. "Charlie, Danielle and Tyler are going too. Eleanor still hasn't confirmed but she says she'll do her best." 

"Lovely." Zayn says, ignoring the mention of Christian since he still isn't really fond of the guy. "I'm actually excited now that I know some familiar faces will be there, Ni."

"Good. That's good."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is legit the first Liam POV chapter in any of my fics that I felt so easy writing it (yay writer development). It's not perfect lol none of my writing is, but I tried!! I had fun writing this chapter so much, the only thing I was struggling with was all the people I wanted to be involved in it lol Thank you for all the lovely comments from the previous chaps, thanks for giving my writing a chance. xx much love!! 
> 
> ANY MISTAKES ARE MINE. :)
> 
> BTW, talk to me on my [tumblr](https://www.iwasnthere-writes.tumblr.com), come say hi! x

Liam doesn’t know what or how it happened. One moment he was talking to Harry and Louis in the kitchen, being firm in his decision of not joining this reunion. His resolve was absolutely unshakeable that he might’ve heard Louis sigh defeatedly a few times. The amount of times he gave work as a reason, money being another, he was most definitely certain that he wasn’t going with the others.

And yet-

He finds himself dragging a luggage behind him, holding a plane ticket on another hand, walking around heathrow airport on his way to waiting gate 37 for his flight to Rome.

He swears he has no idea how this became his fate.

“Are you _excited_??” Harry asks enthusiastically walking beside him.

Liam glares. “I don’t know how I got here, actually.”

“Oh please. You were never gonna resist me.” Harry gives him a blinding grin, and Liam may not like this whole trip, but he loves Harry, so at least there is something good in this thing. If it gets his best friend smiling like that, Liam would do it in a heartbeat.

Liam breathes out exaggeratedly and gives Harry a fond side eye. “You’re lucky I love you.”

Harry only grins wider before throwing his arms around Liam in a tight hug. “I am so, _so_ lucky to have you as my best friend. I will protect you from anything and everything in this world, you are the woody to my buzz, the newt to my thomas, the steve to my bucky, the -“

“Oh my god, shut up.” Liam laughs. “Enough, I get it. You’re happy. At least there is an up to this trip then.”

Harry opens his mouth to say something but Liam cuts him off.

“Stop, before you start professing your pining ass over me for years and having to deal with me only looking at you like a brother.”

Harry gives him a disgustingly offended look. “ _Excuse me_? You are _so_ not my type.” He shudders. “I have seen your dick more times than I’d like, and _ew_.”

“Fuck off.”

Harry makes a face. “Don’t say that word while I’m thinking of your cock.”

Liam laughs loudly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Harry, I can see right through you”

“Oh, if I punch you right now, you wouldn’t even see me” Harry warns.

“You just wanna see me flex” Liam teases, Harry groaning in disgust as a response.

“I swear, Payne.” Harry shakes his head. “Come on, hurry up, we’re almost at 37.”

Liam whines. “For grown ass men, we took forever to move from one gate to another.”

Harry laughs as they both make a turn, entering their gate. "Blame it on that burger you had to wait for."

"I need my protein before this trip I never wanted to go to." Liam hisses.

Harry makes a face. "You do know that burgers are junk-"

“Payno!!!” A high pitched voice rings through his ears after getting through security.

Eleanor runs to him with open arms that Liam only has a second to react and catch her.

“I missed you, darling!” She giggles into his neck once they reached each other.  
Liam laughs and hugs her back. He missed her too, so much. This one was like a little sister to him always. Even if she was a year older.

“You still smell so lovely, El.” He rubs her back before pulling away. “Wow, have I missed you.”

Eleanor grins. “I’m so excited you got convinced to come. Tomlinson told me you were firm in your nos.”

Liam rolls his eyes fondly. “So you guys are talking again?” He wiggles his eyebrows teasingly.

Eleanor throws her head back in a laugh. “We’re talking, yeah. But there is absolutely _no_ room for those eyebrows. That was over long ago.”

“She couldn’t handle me.” A voice that has both Liam and Eleanor roll their eyes joins them.

“More like you couldn’t handle yourself.” Eleanor counters with an eyebrow raise. “It was never meant to last.”

Louis moves closer to them with a small smile on his face. “You deserved better.”

“Hell yeah, I did.” Eleanor giggles, a flush on her cheeks that she still can’t control around Louis.

Liam knows whatever they had was over a long time ago, but it’s nice to see them okay after all. Liam was the one who held a sobbing, distraught Eleanor in his flat because _I don’t know how to be without him Liam, I just can’t, what did I do wrong? Was I not enough?_

Liam was almost mad at Louis for causing that much pain on someone, but he also knew it was for the best. They were meant to meet, probably fall in love, be friends and all that, but they weren’t meant to be together.

He realizes he’s been zoning out of the conversation only to leave Louis and Eleanor to catch up together. He makes a face because he must’ve looked dumb just standing there while the two talk. Where was Harry?

Right on cue. A boisterous laugh cuts him off from his thoughts and Liam can only smile hearing it because, well, he knows that laugh anywhere.

He turns towards the direction of the said voice and sees the one and only Niall Horan seated on one of those waiting benches across Harry, turning red from how hard he’s laughing. Liam smiles at that. He’s missed Niall.

Fuck that. He thinks as he’s walking towards Niall and Harry only to have realized that, of course, _of course_ , he was gonna be there. Damn it, he should’ve stayed with Louis and El, he’s half-way tempted to go back to them but Harry has looked up from Niall and spotted him which caused Niall to look up and he-

“Payno!” Niall jumps up from his seat and practically throws himself at Liam, and he id not exactly as light as Eleanor so it was a bit of a struggle to catch him. Liam manages though.

Liam grins as he hugs Niall back. “I missed you too, Child.” He ruffles the blue eyed boy, with, oh, naturally brunette hair now.

Niall scoffs. “I never said I did.”

“ _Ah_. But I felt it.” Liam says as they pull away.

Niall grins at him and his eyes go all soft. “It’s so good to see you.”

And Liam feels guilty at how sincere Niall’s words are. He’ll admit, after he and Zayn broke up, he never really put an effort to remain in contact with Niall. He figured he didn’t want to drag Niall into the awkward middle ground where he needs to be careful with how and what he speaks about. He never wanted to put Niall in a position where he would be uncomfortable, and the easier way to do that was to keep his space.

Harry, being his best friend, obviously made it clear that whatever Liam was doing, he’d support it a hundred and one percent, which means he didn’t get to see Niall as often as well. Louis, even being the little shit that he is, didn’t have any problems with being neutral. Maybe it was because he was older, the eldest among all of them too, he has the maturity to be on the safe side without taking sides.

So it was really Niall he kind of lost touch with. And that’s sad because Niall was Niall and even though Harry is always gonna be home to Liam, Niall was just as close to that to him as he could.

“It’s so good to see you too, mate.” Liam replies, he bites his lip and rubs behind his neck to ease some tension. “Sorry we haven’t really -“

“Don’t worry about it.” Niall smiles. “We all have our reasons.”

Liam laughs gently. “Have you been working out?”

Niall wiggles his eyebrows and flexes. “Got guns now, Payne. You’re not the only daddy here anymore.”

Harry groans. “ _Oh god_. Please not that daddy thing.”

Liam turns a dark shade of red at the joke. They are so not going there.

A small laugh from the bench across Harry eases Liam’s embarrassment even without realizing who it was from.

A laugh he hasn’t heard in a while. A laugh he used to cause. A laughed he intentionally wanted to hear every single day.

He looks at where the voice is coming from and it may sound corny but really, his heart is caught in his throat and he just stares.

He’s grown. Duh. He’s well, he’s filled his cheeks in a bit, he looks healthy. His eyes are bright, still the same hazelnut with swirls of green and shades of brown. Eyelashes still long enough that he remembers some girls jealous of that in uni. Lips still in that natural pout he has despite him smiling now. His hair is shaved slightly at the sides and bundled up at the top of his head. Natural color again though, last time Harry talked about him, his hair was pink-no, rose gold, Harry’s voice corrects.

He’s wearing a denim jacket over a black shirt, some ripped jeans and some trainers. He looks good, if Liam was being honest.

Liam thinks he’s stared for a long time so he coughs in his hand awkwardly and pulls on his bomber jacket. He puts on a smile he prays looks genuine and speaks.

“Hey, Zayn. Nice to see you.” Liam nods at him.

Zayn’s eyes widen as if he’s shocked Liam would actually acknowledge him. He brushes it off quickly though, he licks his lip and stutters out. “Hi Liam. Yeah, same here. Glad you decided to join after all.”

Liam nods, not offering a further explanation. They can be civil, yes. But they don’t have to be friends. Exes can’t be friends. That’d be weird.

He turns to look at Niall who is looking between Zayn and Liam as if to see who would break the tension first. Liam doesn’t know what to do because he doesn’t feel any tension at all. He lies to himself as his fingers slightly shake.

Harry from the bench has a barely suppressed smile on his face as he looks at Liam. He’s not saying anything, but his eyes say enough.

“Lads, I see you have all been making do of this reunion and we’re not even in Rome yet.” Louis joins the four boys with Eleanor in tow.

Looking at the both of them, chuckling and teasing each other makes Liam question his statement about exes. Maybe some people are just lucky.

“Have you boys even mingled with the others, already?” Eleanor asks. “I know you guys missed each other, but we have other friends too, you know.” She looks around and lights up when she spots someone.

“Dani!” She squeals and leaves the group of boys to run to Danielle.

Liam smiles as he sees the two girls meet in the middle and almost fall at how hard they’re hugging.

“Remember when you tried to date Danielle?” Niall suddenly asks.

Liam flushes for the umpteenth time once he got in the gate. “Shut up.”

“Aww, you were in your ‘I'm only in to girls’ phase” Harry teases.

Louis cackles. “Remember that one double date we had and the restaurant had a hot waiter and you realized you were more interested in the waiter than Dani.”

“Was this reunion made so I could be made fun of? Really?” Liam sighs and takes a seat beside Harry. “How long til we go?”

Harry checks his watch and grins. “About thirty minutes til boarding time.”

“Right, who are we sitting with? Zayn and I got row 16, D and E.” Niall looks at Louis.

“I’m sitting with Jade actually. She's got to fill me in with her life. We’re at row 14.” Louis says, waving his boarding pass.

“Liam and I are at row 16 too.” Harry speaks out. “G and H, guess we’re beside each other.”

Liam glances to see how Zayn reacts to that only to find the other boy already looking at him. He looks away quickly when he realizes Liam saw him looking.

He doesn’t overthink it either. He stared at Zayn just earlier, it’s just - it’s been a while so, he won’t hold it against the other boy.

“—okay, right Li?”

Liam turns to Harry with wide eyes. "Um, sorry?"

"I said it'll only be a less than three hour flight, we'll be okay." Harry explains again. "Since Niall and Zayn were arguing about who takes which seat because of 'bathroom' problems."

"Or just Zayn's fear of flying that never went away." Niall says.

Zayn flushes and glares at his friends. "It's normal, okay? I read somewhere in the internet that the odds of a plane crash is one in eleven million, and this is throughout the whole world we're talking about. How many million flights are there in a day, hmmm? and what if our plane gets in to that percentage? did you know that 20% of plane crashes is caused by mechanical failure? 50% is from _total_ pilot error and how can we entrust our lives with a person we don't even know? So yes, I will be paranoid, and that fear will never go away."

"It went away when the five of us visited the US for that summer trip." Niall rolls his eyes.

Liam's eyes widen and coughs into his fist awkwardly. That US trip happened in the early days of Liam and Zayn's relationship. He was still scared, contrary to Niall's words, but Liam held his hand and kept distracting him with kisses so he wouldn't feel so scared anymore. 

Zayn's cheeks redden as he looks to the ground as if he saw something interesting there compared to the look on others' faces. "That was different." He mumbles.

Niall clears his throat, probably realising how awkward he made the situation seem. "Sorry about that. Um, don't worry Zayn, you can hold my hand."

Liam sees someone that can be used as an excuse to leave this bubble of awkwardness so he gets up from the seat and excuses himself. 

"Ben!" He says approaching the boy. He was a year younger than them, but he had such a willing heart to help out with school events that he became a fixture in the council meetings and such. He was always so willing to learn that Liam felt years older than him. 

Ben turns and grins widely when he sees Liam. "Lima!" 

Liam approaches his friend and pulls him into a hug. "I'm glad you could make it, mate." 

"I'm glad _you_ could make it. Heard you were a bit of a fuss."

"Now, where did you get that information from?" Liam raises his eyebrows at him, then he chuckles.

"Harry." They say in unison.

Ben chuckles. "So what have you been up to?"

"Finally landed a job at a children's hospital, it's a fulfilling one, mate." Liam smiles. 

"That's amazing, Li. I always knew you'd make it." Ben puts a hand on his shoulder. "Seeing anyone?" The boy wriggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Liam shrugs the hand off. "You waste no time in asking the right questions, don't you?" He says sarcastically.

"Of course, on to the juicy shit." Ben laughs. "No cute co-nurse? Maybe even a patient's older sister? brother? Single parent?"

"You're disgusting." Liam laughs. "I'm professional, you twat."

Ben seems to have seen someone around the gate that makes him smirk. He turns to Liam, "Or maybe, someone can come back?"

Liam makes a face. "None of that. How have you been doing?"

"Ah, Payno. Always one to change the topic when it matters, huh?" Ben bumps his shoulder. "I'll play along then, have a seat and I'll tell you all about my life."

"It would be my greatest honour." Liam exaggeratedly says with a bow before taking a seat. Earning him a punch on the shoulder from the lad.

Ben smiles at him fondly, "age has definitely made you more sarcastic."

\--

_Attention all passengers flying to Rome at flight AZ209, your flight is now boarding._

_We are requesting passengers with seats from row thirty one to forty four to come in queue first._

_Please wait for your row numbers to be called up before lining up to avoid delay. Thank you._

Liam hears the voice over end and sees the throng of people get up from their seats and be in queue. 

"What seat do you have?" Ben asks from beside him.

Liam shows him his boarding pass. "16G. You?" 

"14E. I think I'm sitting with Christian." Ben smiles. "You remember him? Had the biggest crush on you?"

"Stop it." Liam hisses amusedly. "We don't want any awkward moments on this trip."

Ben cackles. "I can't help it, he was just so  _in_ to you, man." He puts an arm around Liam's shoulder. "You were breaking hearts left and right at uni. Crazy about someone else, yeah?"

"Sometimes I think people from school never move on, huh?" Liam raises an eyebrow. "Can we not talk about my past relationship?"

"How can we not? Walking in to you guys nearly fucking in our meeting room was one of the highlights of our student council life." Ben smirks.

Liam chokes on nothing, flushing red immediately. "You should be grateful we're in public, Ben." He deadpans.

"Got you thinking about it, yeah?" Ben teases more, "Niall was _scarred_."

_Attention passengers with seats from row eighteen to thirty, you may now be in queue._

Liam starts gathering his things up as Ben does the same. 

"Hey."

Liam turns to Ben. "Hmm?"

"Sorry if I went too far." Ben smiles sheepishly. "With our diverging lives, I guess I can't help but look back at the fun times, which definitely included you and Zayn. I'll be more sensitive on the trip. I promise."

"Forgot how much of a drama queen you were." Liam teases. "It's okay, I know you didn't mean any harm. It's in the past anyway, it's just a good laugh now."

Ben wraps an arm around Liam. "You're still the best, Payno."

" _Hey!_  Get your hands off my best friend, Benjamin." 

Liam raises an eyebrow at Harry, "possessive much?"

"Of course." Harry rolls his eyes. "Benjamin here is a friend thief. We all remember Matt."

Ben cackles out loud. "Will you guys ever let that go?"

Louis snorts as he approaches the group. "Don't think so, Benny. No one will ever forget how you ruined Matt and Clark's friendship."

"I couldn't be blamed for a choice Matt clearly made." Ben shrugs. "Speaking of, will they be here?"

"Scared?" Niall and Zayn who were chatting beside them decide to join the conversation.

Ben grins. "Hello to you two, Malik, Horan." 

Zayn gives him a lazy salute as Niall gives him the finger. 

_Attention passengers with seats from row fourteen to sixteen, you may now be in queue._

_"_ That's us!" Harry squeals in delight as he grabs Liam's hand to be in queue. The rest of the group following shortly.

Liam lets himself be dragged among his uni friends and stays quiet amidst the excited chatter in line. He still isn't sure if this was a good idea. Sure, he's happy to see all his friends from uni, some he hasn't even gotten the chance to talk to yet; some, they're meeting in Rome. But something in his gut made him nervous. Something made him feel like this reunion wasn't just gonna be a flimsy one with half-assed memories and laughter. Something made him feel like this was gonna be an important one. A catalyst of some sort. 

Catalyst.

A person or thing that precipitates an event or occassion.

He just doesn't know what's meant to happen. He's not sure if he's gonna like it.

Lost in thought, he doesn't notice a person queue up beside him and Harry, Harry who was too preoccupied in chatting with Louis and Jade who were behind them. The person nudges him gently, bringing him back to reality and away from his thoughts.

Liam turns to the person and sees Zayn give him a curious look. "You okay?" The boy asks quietly.

"Um, yeah. I'm alright." Liam nods before tugging his luggage and movie up the queue.

To Rome we go. _The city of echoes, the city of illusions and the city of yearning._

Liam takes a deep breath as he nears the cabin crew in charge of taking his boarding pass. 

In the words of Anna who was in Tess' body in freaky Friday: "let's do this thingy!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there's a bit of flight anxiety talked about and described in this chapter. Not heavily detailed but please be informed.
> 
> Thanks for all the support with this story! I have so much more plans to come :)
> 
> ANY MISTAKES ARE MINE.

Zayn is pretty close to killing Niall at this point. 

Okay. Maybe not _that_ far, but close to punching him, that's for sure.

The plane hasn't taken off yet and he has already went in and out of his seat for three times already. Top that with his flight anxiety, he's going crazy.

He wants to just switch seats with his friend so he can do as he pleases but there's the issue of his ex sitting beside said friend and although he's moved on, it'd be weird, given his fear of flying and all that. 

"Damn it, I forgot something in my bag."

Zayn groans. "Niall, this will only be a two hour flight, can't it wait until later?"

"It's my inhaler, asshole. I need it in case I get an asthma attack." Niall rolls his eyes.

"This is the fourth time you've stood up, don't make me cause your asthma by choking you." Zayn hisses.

Niall looks taken aback at this. "Fine. Just let your best friend die. And it's not cool to joke about asthma, Zayn."

Fuck this. Zayn gets up from his seat. "Hurry up, we're about to take off."

_Ladies and gentlemen, this is Jessa and I’m your chief flight attendant. On behalf of captain Mason and the entire crew, welcome aboard Alitalia flight AZ209, a non-stop service from London to Rome._

_Our flight time will be of two hours and thirty minutes. We will be flying at an altitude of 30,000 feet._

_At this time, make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position and that your seat belt is correctly fastened. Also, your portable_ _electronic devices_ _must be set to ‘airplane’ mode until an announcement is made upon arrival. Thank you.”_

Zayn's eyes widen and he hurries over to take a seat and all pride be damned he's not getting up while they are that high so he takes Niall's seat instead.

Liam startles at his haste to sit but he doesn't have time to pretend everything's okay because he's kind of freaking out. His hand shake as he tries to get his seatbelt fastened but he keeps missing.

"Shit." He swears and takes a deep breath, clenching his hands together slowly to calm him down.

"Hey." 

Zayn looks up to see Liam giving him a concerned look. "I - sorry, you know how nervous I get with flying." He mumbles, looking away from the boy. When Zayn saw him at the gate earlier, he couldn't help but stare. He looks very good. The same earnest brown eyes, the same pink, plump lips, definitely a lot fitter. Not that he wasn't fit before but Zayn can see that he's kept himself in shape. Not that Liam ever needed to. Zayn always thought the world of Liam, his attractiveness was just a bonus.

Liam gives him a small smile. "It's okay, Zayn. You'll be fine. Here." He takes Zayn's seatbelt and fastens it for him. Liam adjusts it so it can be secure enough for Zayn's liking. "All good?"

"Yeah, thanks." Zayn closes his eyes and leans on the seat. He absolutely hates flying.

Niall sits on the aisle seat now and Zayn can tell he's just as grateful for this as Zayn is grateful that he can finally have peace. "Sorry about earlier, mate. You know I get nervous too, I just deal with it a bit differently."

Zayn sighs. "Yeah, sorry I snapped."

_Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to direct your attention to the television monitors. We will be showing our safety demonstration and would like the next few minutes of your complete attention._

Zayn stares at the monitor in front of him with a cabin crew explaining what they should do in case of an emergency landing or turbulence. His stomach clenches and he grips on to the arm rest hard. 

_In the event of an emergency, please assume the bracing position. Lean forward with your hands on top of your head and your elbows against your thighs. Ensure your feet are flat on the floor._

"Yeah, as if someone could still think properly if an emergency happens."

Zayn turns to Liam with an worried look. "Exactly. If the plane suddenly shakes uncontrollably, do they honestly think I can do all this?"

Liam chuckles a bit. "Don't worry, we're safe."

"You can't be so sure." Zayn mumbles. 

 _You will find this and all the other safety information in the_   _card located_   _in_ _the seat pocket in front of you. We strongly suggest you read it before take-off. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask one of our crew members. We wish you all an enjoyable flight._

Enjoyable. Ha. Zayn feels his chest contracting as the plane moves slowly towards the runway. "I can't take this."

Niall grabs his hand from the arm rest. "Z, it's okay. Just squeeze if it all feels too much."

Zayn nods his head frantically. "Okay. Okay." A flight attendant passes them by and he calls her. "Excuse me?"

"Yes, sir? Do you need anything?'

Zayn bites his lip. "Yeah, um, can I ask the statistics of the airline on how many cr-?"

A hand clamps over his mouth and he goes to bite it thinking it was Niall but he realises that Niall's hands aren't this warm, fingers aren't this long, palms aren't this calloused.

"Sorry, he's just nervous. Do you think we could have some chocolate, please?" Liam asks politely.

The attendant smiles understandingly. "I will be handing it to you shortly after take off, sir."

"Thank you." Liam says, and when she walks away he removes his hand from Zayn's mouth. "Zayn, I honestly don't think you can ask questions like that in flights before take off. They might have you taken out of the flight."

Zayn makes a face and shakes his head. "I don't care. Why didn't we take the train? What's the hurry? Why are we-"

The plane halts and a voice is heard around the plane.

_Cabin crew, please take your seats for take-off._

_"Shit."_ Zayn says, "Ni, um. I -"

Niall squeezes the hand already holding his. "Hey, Z. It's okay, you're fine. We're all safe, it's okay."

Zayn closes his eyes as the plane starts moving again and accelerates quickly. He squeezes Niall's hand tighter that he's scared he might be actually hurting his Best Friend but he couldn't care less because he's terrified and -

The swooping in his stomach every time the plane takes off from the ground will never be old to him. He hates the feeling but at the same time he's grateful because it's better than the anxiety inducing noise of wheels accelerating into oblivion.

It feels like forever until he hears a beep.

_Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned off the Fasten Seat Belt sign, and you may now move around the cabin. However we always recommend to keep your seat belt fastened while you’re seated._

Zayn lets out the breath he was holding and lets go of Niall's hand.

_In a few moments, the flight attendants will be passing around the cabin to offer you hot or cold drinks, as well as a light meal. Alcoholic drinks are also available at a nominal charge/with our compliments._

Niall thumps him in the head. "I love you, but I can't feel my hand, dick."

"You deserve it so much." Zayn deadpans. "I hate flying."

"Just two hours, mate."

A flight attendant approaches them and hands them a KitKat bar. "Sir, well be giving you more choices with the cart, but take this as of now." 

Zayn gives her a small smile. "Thank you." He takes the KitKat bar and is tempted to ask it from Liam since chocolate always eases his freak outs. But he does against it and hands it to the other boy. "Here."

Liam looks up from his phone when Zayn nudges him with the chocolate. His lips quirk up a bit but then schools it with a shrug. "It's yours, I know chocolate helps people calm down."

Zayn is taken aback by this but suddenly feels warm all over. He didn't expect that. He thought Liam was asking for himself since he was hungry or something. Liam looks at him curiously since Zayn hasn't responded and has just stared at him like a mad man.

"Um, I - wow. uh, Thanks." Zayn says sincerely. "I appreciate this very much. Thank you. Thanks."

"We get it, you're _very_ grateful." Harry shoves himself towards Liam and Zayn's awkward bubble with a wide grin. "Isn't he the _sweetest_?" Harry coos at Liam with a cheek pinch, causing the other boy to swat his hand.

"That isn't news to Zayn." Niall chuckles, shoving into his space as Harry did. The pair smirk at each other.

"Fist bump!" They say in unison before doing the gesture.

Liam rolls his eyes and pushes Harry off of him, as he did to Niall. "My fist will literally bump your face if you don't get back to your seat, Styles."

"Oh, I'm _so_ scared." Harry says in a high pitched voice. 

Zayn shakes his head in a chuckle and opens his KitKat bar. He pops one out of the four and eats the ends first. Then the sides, then he disassembles the wafer and eats happily.

"I've never seen anyone eat a KitKat that way." Liam chuckles, Zayn didn't notice him being observed so he flushes a bit.

Liam smiles a bit. "Don't worry, I just noticed you now."

Zayn smiles sheepishly. "Would you judge me if I told you that this is the way Kourtney Kardashian eats a KitKat?"

"Who?" Liam gives him a confused look.

"Kourtney! You know, from the Kardashians." Zayn laughs since Liam's face only gets more confused.

Liam laughs a bit with him, brows raised in confusion. "I know I should probably know them, but I really don't."

Zayn gasps and wipes an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye. "Why would you say that? Like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation." He says in his most practiced Kim voice.

"Oh my god." Liam cackles "okay, that one I saw on twitter. How'd you know she ate KitKat that way?"

Zayn sighs exaggeratedly. "Kourtney is that girl's sister. And she made a video of it. Damn, Liam. Get it together."

Liam rolls his eyes playfully. "It's not my fault I don't know about Hollywood and all the crap it involves."

"Wise words." Zayn laughs, biting in to another piece KitKat. "You want one?"

Liam laughs. "I'm fine. Got a little something on your teeth."

Zayn grins wider, feeling at ease. He knows he shouldn't, not because it's Liam, but because he's an ex and exes aren't really this quick into catching up. They're not supposed to click like they're friends. They're supposed to be in an awkward bubble until this trip is over. Instead, less than two hours in, he finds himself comfortable and happy.

Comfortable and happy. Talking with his ex. In a plane. 30,000 ft above the ground.

Yup, this is how he's going to die.

But when he hears Liam laugh at his grin, he thinks, maybe that's okay.

He ignores the feeling in his stomach seeing Liam smile though. That isn't something he needs to think about.

\--

Zayn's ability to sleep anywhere and everywhere amazes people and even himself sometimes. He feels as though it's both a blessing and a curse. 

It's a blessing when he's in an uncomfortable place since he can choose to sleep as he pleases.

It's a curse when you're in a plane and beside an ex boyfriend.

He's jolted awake by a strong jump in the plane, causing gasps and woahs from passengers.

His heart rate quickens and he opens his eyes, realising that he's leaning his head on a shoulder. And his head is being leant on by another head. 

After a few seconds, he realises that Niall was on his left side and not his right. This fact sinking in causes him to move away quickly, causing Liam to awaken as well.

"Um. Sorry." Zayn mumbles, cheeks warm.

Liam coughs into his hand and doesn't look at him. "Sorry too."

Another jolt.

Zayn's eyes widen and he grabs on to the armrests. He looks to where Niall should be and doesn't find him there. 

"Niall?" Zayn calls out, a bit louder than he wanted.

Liam turns to him this time and grabs his hand. "Just grab my hand for now. Niall should be back since the seatbelt sign is turned on again."

_Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. Please return your seats and keep your seat belts fastened. Thank you._

He's genuinely grateful that Liam's the nice guy that he is because he really, really needs it right now. Fuck, Zayn is definitely gonna force Niall to get his bladder checked out, and he's going to throttle every doctor that says he doesn't have a problem.

"It's probably a nervous tick of his." Liam explains.

Zayn raises an eyebrow at him.

"You mumbled something about Niall getting his bladder checked out." Liam says, rubbing his thumb against the back of Zayn's hand. It feels nice.

Another jolt, a bigger one.

"Fuck. Shit. _Shit._ We are going to die. Liam, we're gonna crash and -"

Liam squeezes his hand a bit. " We're not, Zayn. Turbulences aren't even causes of most crashes. Calm down, talk to me, yeah? Tell me about Niall's bladder."

Zayn chuckles frantically. "It's fucked up because he can't be _here_ right now."

"Like I said before, it's probably how he copes with his fear of flights as well. We all deal with it differently." Liam explains. "It's normal, I'm scared too, but I downloaded apps to distract me. Harry just sleeps. Niall, well, Niall pees."

"And me?" Zayn asks.

Liam gives him a gentle smile. "Besides freak out? You like to talk more."

Zayn glares at him. "I'm glad me freaking out amuses you."

"You know that isn't true." Liam rubs the back of his hand soothingly. "It's fine, just talk to me, Z."

Zayn groans. "Um, uh, how's your family?"

"They're fine." Liam chuckles at how random Zayn is. "Mum complains about how I'm not home a lot. Ruth just had a baby last year."

"That's nice." Zayn says with a smile. "Doniya's getting married."

Liam lights up. "Would you look at that? Ms 'I'm never settling down' is _finally_ settling down."

Zayn grins. "Yeah, Tamir changed her mind."

"He treat her well?" Liam asks and Zayn feels warm and the protectiveness in his voice. Whatever happened with them, he's glad Liam still cares about his family the way Zayn does for his. 

"Do you think she'd settle for less?" Zayn asks pointedly.

Liam cackles. "When hell freezes over." 

"Exactly." Zayn nods.

The plane suddenly moves up and down in a repeated manner. 

"Shit. Liam." Zayn whimpers and squeezes Liam's hand tighter.

Liam hums soothingly. "Hey, it's fine. It'll be over soon. Can you sing? Singing calms people down, come on."

Zayn thinks Liam has gone crazy if he actually thinks Zayn can sing something at this point. He can't even think. But Liam looks at him expectantly and Zayn can't help but do as he says. 

_I’ve been hearing symphonies_

Liam laughs. "Come on, give me a classic one. I don't want to hear stuff I hear on the radio a billion times."

Zayn frowns, "demanding."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

Zayn groans. Fine. 

_Some day,_

_when I'm awfully low,_

_when the world is cold,_

_I will feel a glow just thinking of you_

_And the way you look tonight_

Liam smiles at him. "That's it. Go on."

Zayn shakes his head and shifts to be more comfortable in his seat. Still not letting go of Liam's hand, he closes his eyes and continues to sing.

With every lyric he remembers how beautiful this song is, this was one of his mum's favourites and he knows Liam knows this too.

_with each word your tenderness grows,_

_tearing my fears apart_

He gets so into the singing that he doesn't realise that the seatbelt sign has been turned off and the jolting has come to a stop. 

_'cause I love you_

_just the way you look tonight_

Zayn opens his eyes and sees Liam giving him a fond smile. 

"See? All done." Liam squeezes his hand one more time and lets go. He tries not to be disappointed at that.

Zayn coughs awkwardly. "Thank you. For that." 

Liam shrugs. "No worries, you would've done the same for me."

Zayn isn't quite sure about that. But -

"Oh god." 

Zayn startles as Niall flops on to his seat. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Niall groans. "I was in the loo, and when I came out the plane was just jolting everywhere they wouldn't let me go back to my seat. They told me to wait it out."

"You are the worst friend ever." Zayn laughs. "Seriously. I'm gonna die early because of you."

"At least you don't die of loneliness." Niall laughs. "But you were okay?"

Zayn's cheeks turn red as he nods. "Yeah, I -" He turns to Liam smiling but the other boy is turned away from him, leaning his head against Harry's, now asleep.

He tells himself that it's nothing. Liam was clearly just being nice. "Um. Yeah. I was alright, Niall."

Niall gives him a look but drops it by leaning his head against Zayn's shoulder. "Whatever you say, Malik. We've only got a few more minutes left, then we'll finally get off this death trap."

Zayn chuckles a bit. "Air craft, you mean."

"There's a reason why they rhyme."

\--

"Hello Rome!"

Zayn turns to Louis who decided to shout out loud, causing some passengers to look at him with distaste. They were walking towards immigration, they had just gotten out of the plane and he's grateful to be on land again.

"Maybe you should wait until after immigration." Zayn elbows him.

"Oh boo hoo, it's not like I killed someone." Louis rolls his eyes. 

Niall laughs at that. "This is gonna be such a good trip."

"By the way, I saw you and Liam getting a bit cozy during the turbulence" Louis waggles his eyebrows suggestively. "Am I getting my OTP back for this trip?"

Niall gives him a curious look and Zayn shakes his head.

"He just helped me calm down, that's all. No OTT shit, whatever that is." Zayn says nonchalantly.

"OTP" Louis corrects. "One true pair, idiot."

Zayn makes a face. "What are we, 12?"

"Sorry I wasn't there." Niall says quietly. "I didn't think I was gonna be long."

"It's fine, Nialler." Zayn says, chuckling a bit. "No harm down. It wasn't even long."

Niall nods. "Sorry you had to be in an awkward situation, though." 

Zayn pulls Niall into a side hug. "I said, it's fine."

Louis pouts as he walks beside them. "I wanna be in a hug."

Niall laughs and pulls him in along with them. It's pretty difficult to walk in this position, but it feels nice.

They reach immigration and have their passports and whatever papers they need checked. It wasn't a full-packed flight so there wasn't a lot of people, just his school mates, some locals and a few tourists. 

_Ciao! Welcome to Rome!_

A large poster says as they reach the exit of their baggage claim. 

"Hello!" A girl with dirty blonde hair and model physique comes up to him and Niall.

Zayn gives her a confused look. "Um, hi?"

"You don't remember me?" The girl laughs. "Well, I did grow up, didn't I?"

Niall squints his eyes at the girl and smiles. "Barbs!"

"The one and only." Barbs grins. "It's so good to see you all again!" She claps her hands as the group approach them slowly.

"Barbara." Louis says with an eyebrow raise, but then he breaks into a grin. "Darling, how beautiful of you look today!"

"Oh stop." Barbs smiles. "Zaynie here couldn't even recognise me."

Zayn gives her a sheepish look. "I'm sorry, but you stayed a child to me."

"Of course I did." She says with an eye roll, then something or someone catches her eye. "Leemo!"

Liam looks up to being called and grins widely. "Baby girl!"

Barbs runs to him in a hug to which Liam catches her with ease.

Liam has always been the girls' favourite in the council. He was always like a big brother to them, protecting them from creepy guys and persistent stalkers. Being a footie player, people respected him more than others. He never claimed or understood it, but the people around him took advantage of that fear because it's better to be safe than sorry. Liam accepted the role of being protector gladly, anyway. 

Zayn smiles at them before Niall nudges him a bit. "You're staring."

"Shut up." Zayn nudges him back, chuckling.

"I'm so glad you could make it." Barbs tells Liam. "Louis said you might not show."

"If only someone told me it was you who put up all this, then maybe I would've said yes in a heartbeat." Liam boops her nose. 

Barbs flushes. "Asshole. You know that doesn't work on me anymore."

Liam laughs. "Where is this billionaire husband of yours?"

"Excuse me." Barbs punches his chest. "He's not a billionaire. And he's not here."

Liam frowns. "He treating you right?"

"Yes,  _Dad_." Barbs rolls her eyes. "He just has a business trip which causes him to be busy this week. Which is why he allowed me to have you all here!"

Liam chuckles. "That's all I need to know."

Barbs grins and then frowns, she pulls Liam towards Zayn and punches them both.

"Ow." They both say in unison. "What was that for?"

Barbara pouts and quints her eyes. "None of you, not any one of you bothered to tell my you guys broke up. I had to hear it from Styles."

Zayn rubs the arm that had just been punched and chuckles a bit. "Sorry if not everyone rents a blimp to announce a break up, Barbs."

"I didn't need a blimp, I needed an answer to my why." She looks at them sadly.

Liam coughs awkwardly. "What you need is to take us out of this airport and on to the cruise ship. I'm expecting a lot."

"Me too!" Harry speaks out, hurriedly nearing them and obviously trying to save Liam from the awkward moment.

Barbara rolls her eyes. "Fine. But you guys owe me an explanation." She squints and Zayn and Liam. 

"Now, everyone? We have a bus parked at exit number four, if we could all just head there now."

Senseless chatter is allover as the group walks toward the exit, following Barbara whose arm is locked around Harry's with Liam beside them.

Zayn bites his lip, following after most of the group has started before him.

"You okay?" Niall looks at him concernedly.

Zayn breathes out shakily and nods. "Yeah," he whispers. "I'm alright."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I am so sorry for the delay. I had so many things going on in my life and on top of that I had this major writer's block, I just couldn't get in to writing for this verse no matter how hard I tried. I have so many ideas and plans for this plot but it all comes out wrong :( However, this is the result of a long sit down of the blimp of inspiration I had and I'm actually happy with it. 
> 
> This is still more of an establishing of characters part of the fic, I really want to be happy with this because I love how I envisioned this one to be. 
> 
> I hope it's okay. Thank you for all the support you've given me. It warms my heart so much that even one person reads my writing, how much more if it's all of you. I read each one of your comments and I'm very grateful. I hope to not let you down. All the love x  
> Enjoy.
> 
> ANY MISTAKES ARE MINE. (sorry about them tho lol)

"I can't believe you actually requested a master suite, you advantage taking dick!" Liam says disapprovingly as he drops his luggage on the floor of their extremely spacious living room. Harry is going to hell for this.

Harry cackles. "Don't act like you don't like it. It even has two bedrooms."

Liam turns to Harry, shocked. "What?"

"Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, private balcony _and_ a walk-in closet." Harry says, chin up as he sits comfortably on the couch.

"Harry, this is _way_ too much."

"It's not like we're breaking the bank, Li. Plus, Barbs asked." Harry explains. "You know you're her favourite."

Liam huffs out a breath but flops beside Harry. "I feel bad. How much are they paying for this?"

Harry shrugs. "Around 15,000 I think?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Liam's eyes widen. "That's _way_ too much, way more than I earn in _months_!"

"I know right? You're welcome." Harry chuckles. 

Liam groans. "I could honestly request for a standard room and leave you here to deal with your own guilt, asshole."

"The thing is, I'm not guilty, Li." Harry grins. "It's nice to accept pampering once in a while. And if you request another room that'll be asking them to pay another extra pounds, that's all on you."

"Why do I put up with you?" Liam whines.

"Oh please, you'd be lost without me." Harry smirks. "Now, let's go check out the rooms! I call dibs on the bigger one!"

Harry leaves him to run into one of the bedrooms. "Holy shit! Liam, you've gotta see the bed! It's huge!" he calls out as Liam hears a thump and an "ouch!".

Liam chuckles a bit knowing that Harry must've thumped his head. He looks to the side and sees a piano. "Why is there a piano?"

"I don't know" Harry calls from the bedroom. "I'll never understand posh people." He walks out of the bedroom and heads to the other one, giving Liam a look along the way. 

"It's not posh to have a piano, it'd be nice to have one if I had the money." Liam says.

"Play a song then!" Harry says before heading to the other bedroom. "Come on."

Liam gets up from the couch and approaches the piano. He runs his fingers along the keys a bit before pressing on some. It sounds beautiful. It's been a while since he's played. He's not brilliant at it, but he can play.

"You still remember how?"

Liam jumps at Harry's voice. "You decide on a room yet?"

Harry shrugs. "I like the positioning of the first one better." He grins. "You take that one." He points to the room he was just in.

"Alright." Liam smiles. "although, I'm betting on you creeping into my room later because you'll miss me."

"I will not!"

Liam chuckles. "Whatever you say. I'll lock my door then."

"Liam!" Harry whines. 'Why don't you just play a song?"

"Give me a title." Liam laughs as he sits not he piano seat and looks at Harry pointedly. 

"The Collin Raye one." Harry says, grinning widely. "I love that one."

Liam shakes his head fondly. "You sure you don't want our song?" He starts playing the intro of The Rembrandts' I'll be there for you but Harry stops him.

"On another day." Harry goes to sit beside him and leans his had on Liam's arm. Looking very small from this position. Liam loves him very much. "Play me Collin Raye now?"

Liam doesn't say anything but starts to play the notes to the first song he ever played on the piano. He was ten years old and he wanted to learn to play something other than the nursery rhymes he was told to do so. It was around the same time Harry lost his grandmother, which cause Harry to be so broken at such a young age. All he wanted was to listen to this song, he wouldn't talk to Liam, not his mum, not his sister, no one. 

Liam, although he wanted to, couldn't take away the pain Harry felt. But he was sure as hell going to try. Countless nights he would search on youtube for tutorials and videos on how to play proper songs on the piano, he learned the notes and everything.

When he finally got to learn and perfect the song, he begged Harry to come over, not even to talk or anything, but just to show him that he will always be with Harry. Through everything.

Long story short, after playing the song for the other boy, nervous Liam ended up in Harry's arms in a hug that was so tight it hurt, hearing a _thank you_ that was so quiet yet loud to his own ears, tears that was a mixture of both happiness and sorrow, and a friendship he knows would last a lifetime. 

_"Thank you. You don't know how much it means to me." Ten year old Harry sobs against Liam's shoulder._

_Liam was crying a bit as well but he hold Harry tighter. "I love you, Haz. Lean on me, yeah? What use am I as a best friend if you don't cry on me with all your tears and snot?" He giggles sadly.  
_

_"I love you too." Harry doesn't let go. "No matter what, you will always be my best friend."_

Harry starts to sing as Liam plays the verse. "I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923"

Liam closes his eyes as he loses himself in the sound of the notes and Harry's voice. 

 _Between now and then, 'til I see you again_  
_I'll be loving you_  
_Love, me_

A knock on their door ends the emotional moment the pair shared, but both boys give each other meaningful smiles before turning to the door.

"I'll get it." Harry says, leaving Liam on the piano seat.

Liam smiles a bit then continues to play the song, eyes closed.

"I should've asked for a suite too!" Niall says in a scandalised tone.

"I know where to crash every night then." Louis' voice chips.

Harry's laugh follows them into the living area where Liam is in. Unbothered as he plays the piano continually, ignoring the other boys. He sings.

 _If you get there before I do, don't give up on me_  
_I'll meet you when my chores are through_  
_I don't know how long I'll be_

Louis sighs loudly and flops on the couch. Liam turns to him, eyebrow raised.

" _Oh Liam_. You're so dreamy." Louis says exaggeratedly.

Liam rolls his eyes. " _Fuck off._ " He sings in the tune of Love, Me.

"Hey." Harry scolds. "Don't do that to my song."

Niall chuckles. "Seriously though, Payne, is there something you can't do?" He actually sounds a bit incredulous. "No wonder Zayno here was madly in love with you, mate."

Liam turns to Niall so quick his neck could have snapped, well not really, but - he sees Zayn. Cheeks flushed and a poor attempt of a glare at Niall is covering his features.

"What?" Niall shrugs. "That was long gone, right? Might as well talk about it than pretend it never happened."

Louis snorts. "That is true. If we don't talk about it, it'll only mean that there's still _something_ here. There isn't, is there?"

Harry purses his lips as he waits for Liam to answer. Liam doesn't. "I personally think it's their story to have an opinion to. We're all just supporting charac-"

"We can talk about it."

Liam looks away from Harry to where Zayn is, the first time he spoke since he was in the room and yet it quiets the others.

Zayn coughs into his hand awkwardly and raises both his eyebrows. "I mean, it's over, it's been what? Three years? We _can_ talk about it."

"Two years." Liam corrects. He shakes his head and clears his throat a bit. "Um, I agree. It's all done in that aspect so, feel free."

There's a pregnant pause. And then, as expected, Louis breaks the silence.

"Oh thank God. You're both sure? I can tease all I want? like that time we walked in on both of you in our council room almost -"

Zayn groans, cheeks redder than earlier. "Can we skip that one?" 

"Fine, how about that time in the dorm-"

It was Liam's turn to make a noise of protests. "Skip that one too."

"How about the US side trip to Vegas where you guys were dared to get married and you actually almost did!" Niall adds, chuckling.

Harry grins. "I remember that one! We literally had to tell Zayn we were joking."

"You actually looked like you were considering it, Malik" Louis laughs. "Do you remember what you said?"

Liam knows their friends are just trying to keep the conversation light but Zayn looks uncomfortable so he speaks up. "Is the trip down memory lane reserved for just me and Zayn? How about the time Niall nearly caused the whole cheer squad into a brawl because he was dating them all at once?"

"Ah, now that's a story to tell." Zayn perks up and sits beside Niall on the couch opposite the other two. Liam is still on the piano seat, although this time turned against the instrument.

Niall groans. "I was not dating them all at once, idiot. I slept with their captain."

Harry raises an eyebrow, "and the co-captain, and on the same week with another team member."

"Niall, you slag." Louis clucks his tongue and shakes his head. "You were the biggest fuck boy, my god."

Liam chuckles. "Are we using young people language now, Lou? Fuck boy, aye?"

"It's spelled with an i, isn't it, Li?" Zayn laughs along with him. "Are you hip, Lou? You're fucking lit, mate, but _we been knew_."

Liam cackles. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't even know." Zayn grins. "Heard it from Safaa. She uses words I don't understand anymore, Li. I sometimes forget that she isn't my little girl anymore."

Liam gives him a fond look and a small smile. "I miss her, how - um, how's she?

Zayn's eyes soften at that and he looks at Liam meaningfully. "She misses you too." He says quietly. "Nearly junior high now. In the puberty phase of I want it all but at the same time I know I can't."

"Tell her I said hi." Liam says. "I miss my munchkin."

"She wouldn't want you calling her that anymore." Zayn says surely.

"Do you miss your baby, Liam?" Louis asks teasingly, Liam kinda forgot the other boys were there for a moment and when he turns to him eyes squinted, the older boy's got a barely suppressed grin on his face.

Harry stifles a laugh and Niall coughs a bit to hide his.

"My what?" Liam asks.

"Your _baby_." Louis prolongs the word. "You know, baby Z."

Zayn whines. "You guys know I hate being called that."

"Not when Liam called you that!" Harry protests. "He'd be like, 'baby, we should see this movie' and you'll go all soft and pliant for him."

Niall adds. "It's not like Liam was any better. Zayn's 'babe' would get him all cheesy and smiley the whole day."

"Oh, and remember when they fought and all of us had to be on edge because Liam was always too quiet when they fought and Zayn was pissy."

Zayn hums. "I hated when we fought." He gives Liam a sideways smile. "But even when it was my fault, you were always the one that approached first."

Liam shrugs. "I was in love." He blurts. "I mean, it's not like we always fought. And not over things that were worth spending so much time getting angry at. It was usually just your jealousy."

Zayn gapes at him, looking scandalised. " _Just_ my jealousy?" He holds out a hand to stop the others from making comments. "Do you know how many people fell at your feet? How many people ogled at you while you played? How many people were willing to throw themselves at you? It was not a 'just' thing, Liam." 

Zayn says all these playfully but there is some truth in his eyes. Liam knew where Zayn came from, even from the time when they ere still together. He never doubted that. He was just teasing.

"I know." Liam says. "I always made you know that."

"You did." Zayn smiles, he has this look in his eyes that Liam doesn't understand. Not sure if he wants to. "You never made me feel like I was being unreasonable."

Liam nods. "I was in love." He repeats.

"So was I." Zayn smiles.

" _Okaaaaay._ " Niall cuts in. "Did you guys forget we were here again? Are we going that far deep into memory lane?"

Harry and Louis laugh.

"After all this time." Louis teases. "So, are you guys seeing anyone?"

Liam chokes on a cough a bit and glares at Louis.

Zayn bites his lip, looking away from Liam and turning to Niall. Huh.

"Liam keeps turning down his suitors." Harry answers for him.

"I don't have suitors." Liam protests.

Harry scoffs. "What do you call Dr. Davies? How about that cardiologist? For god's sake even Stacey's mum!"

Zayn turns to Harry this time with an eyebrow raise. "Stacey's mum?"

"I know, right? Coincidence, really. She's single." Harry smirks. "Looking for a man that'll sweep her off her feet."

Liam cackles. "So am I."

"How about that lawyer you talked about, Li?" Niall asks from the couch.

Zayn looks at his best friend incredulously. "I didn't know you spoke with Liam about his relationships."

"It didn't seem right to tell you about your exes progressing relationships." Niall rolls his eyes. "And it wasn't like I spoke with him about you and Stella."

Louis quirks up at the mention of the name. "Who's Stella?"

"No one." Zayn deadpans.

"Zayn's 'head over heels in love with him' co teacher. Been pining over him since they met." Niall explains causing more protests from Zayn.

Harry catches Liam's eye between the back and forth between the other three. Liam smiles at him a bit. "It's okay." He mouths.

"Love you." Harry mouths back then turns to the other boys. "I think we should stop making it awkward for Zayn and Liam. They're obviously over each other, but it doesn't make it okay to talk about their current love lives in each other's presence."

Louis scoffs. "It's not okay, but it's funny seeing them squirm."

Niall laughs at this but is cut off to a stop when he sees that Zayn isn't amused, he's just looking at the coffee table in front of them as if it's the most interesting thing in the room. He sighs. "Harry's right. We should stop, Lou."

"Fine." Louis groans. "You guys are no fun. But seriously Payno, a lawyer huh?"

"Oh my god, Louis. Let it go." Harry groans, running a hand over Louis' face.

Louis shouts at this. "Get your filthy hands off of me, Styles! Who knows where they've been!"

Liam laughs at their squabble that Niall joins in on not long after. He's missed being with these boys so much that he's almost forgotten how fun and silly they were together. It's like being with them teleports him back in time to their younger years with no worries except school work and events. 

He feels eyes on him before turning to Zayn. In his peripheral vision, he knows that Zayn is facing him, but he feels it before actually seeing. 

Zayn's just looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. A look that Liam feels like he should know the meaning of. A look that isn't familiar to him anymore. It's like Zayn is trying to say so many things to him without actually saying them with words. Liam isn't really one for looking back at their memories but the look on Zayn's face reminds him of one.

_"Why can't you just tell me?" Liam shouts after Zayn who's rushing past the sidewalk from Harry's dorm. "Zayn, wait!"_

_Zayn walks faster but Liam still sees him. "Just go away, Liam."_

_"No!" Liam says loudly, he is aware of the time and he knows the students on the block won't appreciate him and Zayn fighting on the sidewalk in the middle of the night but he's been confused for too long to let this thing go. He finally catches up to Zayn and grabs him by the arm. "Zayn."_

_Zayn tries to pry his arm off but Liam is stronger and pushes forward so he's in front of the other boy, held by the shoulders. "What did I do wrong? You've been ignoring my texts. You haven't been answering my calls. You blow me off every time I try to hang out with you. I must've done something wrong for you to hate me like that."_

_"I - It's nothing, Liam. I-You," Zayn sighs. "You haven't done anything wrong."_

_Liam scoffs. "So, what? You just decide to wake up one day and cut me off from your life? Is that how it is? I've known you since we were in high school, Zayn." He snaps. "If you didn't want to be friends anymore, you could at least be honest."_

_Zayn stares at him with watery eyes, like he's the one hurting when it's Liam whose heart is breaking because one of his best friends_ _, the man he's madly in love with but can't have, is just ready to let him go even as just a friend. He must've noticed Liam's lingering looks. He must've noticed how Liam wants him so much and is now weirded out and he's too much of a nice person to reject Liam so he's deciding to cut him off altogether._

_"I'm sorry." Zayn says, cutting off Liam's thoughts. "I didn't mean to hurt you."_

_Liam bites his lip and nods. He lets go of Zayn's shoulders and tries so hard to keep a calm voice. "It's not your fault. I'm sorry."_

_Zayn gives him a bemused look. "What?"_

_"I'm sorry I made it weird between us." Liam says dejectedly. He looks down at his feet, can't stand seeing Zayn's sorry look, "I'm sorry I couldn't handle my feelings well enough to make sure that our friendship was enough. I was stupid to think that maybe I had a chance, that maybe there was a little part of you that could feel the same way for me, but instead I'm losing you as a friend too. I really wish it were enough for me, Z. But I had to be the stupid one to fall for you, and god it's so damn cliche and cheesy but I couldn't help myself, have you met you? I was a goner from the begi-_

_Liam doesn't know how it happened but when he feels Zayn's lips on his, he completely freezes. He's pretty sure this isn't happening, he must've banged his head trying to chase Zayn on the sidewalk because this isn't real._

_Zayn pulls away and he's got a small smile on his face. "You fell for me? What does that mean?"_

_Liam stares at Zayn openly and laughs a bit. "I love you. I'm in love with you."_

_"Then why don't you kiss me back, yeah?"_

"Earth to Liam."

Liam snaps out of his flashback and shakes his head. Niall is snapping his fingers in front of him. "We're all planning to head out, explore the ship a bit. There's a gala happening later at night, we wanna see where the good stuff will be."

Harry grabs his hand and pulls. "Come on, Li!" He says excitedly. "I wanna see the pool deck, the ball room, the banquet!"

"You always lived for the luxuries, haven't you?" Liam chuckles, getting up from the seat and notices that Zayn and Louis aren't in the room anymore. "Where's Lou and Zayn?"

"Went ahead because Louis was being impatient." Niall throws an arm around Liam's shoulders. " _Now_ , how about that lawyer?"

Harry cackles. "Oh, this is gonna be good." As he pulls on the Liam's hand he's still holding, evidently dragging Niall along as they leave the suite.

Liam groans. "Help me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, there will be a lot of old songs in this fic. You should listen to them if you're in to that! They're all great.
> 
> In this chapter it's:  
> Love, Me - Collin Raye


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